8 Ways to Improve Your Rhyming Picture Book Text

 Selling rhyming picture books is a challenge in today’s tight market. You have only one chance to catch an editor or an agent’s attention. If your verse isn’t spot-on, it’s a guaranteed to be rejected. Most editors and agents just don’t have the time to help re-edit or teach you the mechanics of verse; some just don’t have an “ear” for it.  Still other editors and agents say they flat-out don’t want to acquire it (with the caveat that they will always consider a spectacular, “fresh” rhyming manuscript if one just happens to cross their desk). So the challenge for authors of rhyming verse can be daunting: not only must the story be irresistible, but the rhyme and the meter must be precise.

If you are struggling with your rhyming picture book text, here are 8 ways to improve it:

1. Have you fed your meter? Meter is simply the cadence, or pattern of your rhyme. It consists of stressed and unstressed syllables. The most familiar meter is iambic pentameter (da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM), which consists of ten syllables, or five “iams” (an iam contains two beats: one short unaccented beat and one longer accented beat which make up a metrical “foot”). Hence, five metrical “feet” (iams) put together make up an iambic pentameter (“penta” from the Greek for “five”). To get a feel for iambic pentameter, simply put your hand on your heart and feel the “bum BUM bum BUM bum BUM” of your very own, built-in metronome.

There are other types of meter which I’ll outline in future posts, but for now, read your text with an ear towards hearing the rhythmic up/down pattern. I recommend using a dictionary and becoming familiar with syllabification symbols. Knowing which syllables are accented is critical to keeping a consistent meter. You may have to switch the order of words or find new words to replace ones that are throwing off your rhythm (here, your Thesaurus will be your best friend). Also, it is especially important to have an experienced critique group read your manuscript (not just friends or family members who may sugarcoat their reviews). An experienced critique group will be able to read your manuscript with fresh eyes and new “ears.” They should be able to point out where the rhythm is off and help you polish your meter until it glows with perfection.

One final note on meter: Meter is not a matter of making sure that all lines of verse have the exact same number of syllables. Because words have varying accents, it’s essential that these accents follow the prescribed meter. This is also not to say that every verse and every stanza should follow the exact same meter throughout. It would become tedious to read a picture book with the same meter throughout. The trick is to switch your meter in just the right places for a little emphasis or surprise, as in Marvin K. Mooney, by Dr. Suess:

Get yourself a Ga-Zoom!
You can go with a BOOM!
Marvin, Marvin, Marvin,
Will you leave this room?

 2. Is Your Rhyme Sublime?  Your choice of rhyming words is just as important as the structure of your meter. Words that are near-rhymes or “slant” rhymes are words that have the same stressed vowels or consonants, but not both. They may sound similar but have different vowel sounds or consonant endings (as in “dark/heart,” “washes/dashes,” “fun/gum”). These catch the reader off guard and throw off the predictability of the rhyme. Also, you may have words that are slant rhymes that partially rhyme but have extra syllables as in:  “feel/really,” or “see/very.”  These will also give your reader pause and should be eliminated.Do you hear how the meter switches in line three? Dr. Suess very expertly creates a short, staccato rhythm to create a sense of urgency. You, too, can alter your meter and rhyme to create tension or playful rhythm.

3. How's Your Scheme? A rhyme scheme is the pattern of rhymes throughout your story. When the first line rhymes with the third line and the second line rhymes with the fourth line, it is an ABAB pattern. If only the second and fourth line of your stanza rhyme, you would have an ABCB pattern. The beauty is you can decide on this pattern. But this pattern should remain consistent throughout your story.

4. Are Your Rhymes Too Predictable? If you are using too many simple rhymes like “day/play/say/way” or “me/tree/see/be” or “high/sky/cry/fly” or “fun/sun/run…” you get the idea. These are tired rhymes and will not only bore your reader, but the editor or agent you are trying to attract. Have fun and be creative with your rhyming words. Use a rhyming dictionary (I like http://www.rhymezone.com).

5. Is Your Language Stilted or Odd? When you read your verse, does it sound spontaneous and natural? If not, your verse may be forced and awkward, making it less pleasant to the ear. If you use phrases such as “a happy group were we,” or “I know not why,” consider editing your verse so that it sounds more conversational.  On the flip side of this, if your story is stunted by “rhyme for the sake of rhyme” and  gets tangled up with odd, unrelated rhyme pairs just because you couldn’t come up with a word that would fit, you will have to challenge yourself to fix them.

6. Are You Using Crisp, Tight Verse? Too much exposition and not enough forward motion can stall even the most beautifully written verse. Poetry is unique form of expression because it requires the writer to use as few words as possible to convey meaning, imagery and plot. Less is always more. If your rhyming picture book text is 1,000 words or more, consider editing out all of the unnecessary story elements so that each line of verse moves your story forward.

7. Does Your Story Need to be Told in Verse? Ask yourself if the story benefits from being told in verse. Do the rhythm and rhyme enhance your story or detract from it? The fact is, some stories are better off being told in prose. I often write my story in prose first to be sure that all of the story elements (plot, story arch, conflict/resolution) are there before I write even one rhyme.

8. Is Your Story Too “Quiet”? I have read lovely rhyming picture books and manuscripts that are very simple yet convey a complex emotion or message. Some do not have a problem, tension or a defined character, yet they are sweet and satisfying because the reader is moved or comes away with a better understanding of the world. These are referred to as “quiet” rhyming picture books. There is nothing wrong with this type of book as long as the subject is fresh, the appeal is universal, and the writing is impeccable.  Do all three of these things and you may land yourself a contract. But if your story is too “quiet” and has no broad appeal (look at it from a publisher’s marketing department perspective. They will ask: how will this book appeal to the most buyers?) you may want to reconsider your theme or your message.

Now, tell me, what challenges do you have writing rhyming picture books? Do you have any other tips for aspiring picture book poets?